Daniella's Coming of Age Ceremony

The day after my grandmother's funeral, we had a coming of age ceremony for my older daughter, Daniella.  It was such a beautiful, precious day. I organised it because I wanted to have a gathering of women to affirm and celebrate my daughter and for her to know that there is a company of women that will cheer her on and guide her, as she begins her journey into womanhood. Also I wanted her to feel that the changes that she goes through should be celebrated rather than something to be embarrassed or feel awkward about. The theme of the day was butterflies.

These were the invitations I sent out. I enjoyed making each one though it took me ages to collage the butterflies using magazine images, and sew the buttons onto each one!

My gorgeous friend Elle, took the most beautiful pictures of the day, and made a stunning photo book for Daniella as a keepsake. All the photos below were taken by her. She's a really wonderful photographer and there are more examples of her work on her flickr page.
I painted a picture to give to Daniella as a present.  It isn't an exact replica of her,  I painted a young woman that may be a version of her as she grows. (I got quite carried away with it and it ended up being a really large canvas!)

The room looked so beautiful, she was so thrilled. Lots of twinkly lights, lanterns and flowers in teacups.                                                               

For the ceremony, each lady lit a tealight and placed it in a jar and we all went outside and made a candlelit path leading to a tree illuminated with lights and hanging lanterns. We lit the tealights to symbolise the fact that we would be there to light her path and provide guidance throughout her journey. She then walked through the path and all the ladies welcomed her under the tree. Trees symbolise strength, wisdom and fruitfulness. My prayer for Daniella is that she will like a 'tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and whatever she does shall prosper' (from the book of Psalms).

Under the tree,  Daniella read out her desires for the future and each lady read to her any words of wisdom, scripture or wishes for her that they had. They had each been given a paper butterfly to write these on before the ceremony and for Daniella to keep afterwards. I was blown away by the thought and care that they had put into these. I'm sure she'll look back at these words of wisdom in the years to come.

Afterwards we all had a lovely meal together. I tried to incorporate the butterfly theme into most things, including the food labels and even the cupcake cases.

 There was singing afterwards with performances from my younger daughter, family and friends.
(My younger daughter has already told me that when the time comes, she'd like the theme of her coming of age ceremony to be birds and flowers, I can't wait!)

Each guest was given a take home gift which consisted of iced butterfly biscuits wrapped in tissue paper and ribbon.

I so enjoyed the day and also the whole process of planning it and putting it together. I loved making all the butterfly things, and very importantly, I learnt the value of sticking with an idea and seeing it through to its completion even if it seems a bit 'out there' and not the norm. Even though there was sadness in our hearts because of my grandmother's passing, it was a day filled with so much joy and love and the amazing generosity of family and friends. Moments of beauty don't always just happen, they can be created, even in the midst of sorrow. It was so worth seeing the look on my girl's face surrounded by such love and support. I am immeasurably proud of her and love the person that she is, and the woman that she is becoming.

Farewells and Coming of Age.

My grandmother's funeral was just over a week ago.  She passed away with me and my mum holding her hands, aged 97. We loved her so much and were desperately sad when she left, but we were so blessed to have her stay for so long.  She lived long and she lived well. The day after my grandmother's funeral, we had a coming of age ceremony for my daughter, who is blossoming into a beautiful young woman. Both days were a celebration of beautiful strong women, one at the end of her journey in this life, and the other at the beginning of her journey into womanhood. It was a really precious time because we were able to all be together as a family, and my sister who lives abroad, was there. (I will write more about the coming of age ceremony in my next post.)
I love these photos of my grandmother holding my daughter when she was a baby.

It all started with making butterflies...

In the week that my grandmother went into hospital, I started making butterflies. I was making them because we had already planned to have a ceremony for my daughter, and the theme was to be butterflies. But as I made them, they also became representative of the transition that was to happen with my grandmother. A couple of weeks later, as I watched her leave her body, her departure was like a butterfly leaving behind its cocoon.

 

My Grandmother, Elizabeth Helen Savage.

Feisty-spirited, tenderhearted and strong.

I miss you. xxx

Things to remember our mothers by.

I love Marchmont Street in Bloomsbury, it's one of my favourite streets in London. It's like a village high street but in the middle of the city.
I have often walked over an art installation embedded in the pavement on Marchmont Street, consisting of little tokens from the Foundling museum,..but I only recently stopped to look properly and photograph each one.
Here are some of them:

These tokens were given by mothers who through hardship, had to give their children away to be looked after by the Foundling Hospital. They were given in order for each mother to identify and collect her child in the future, if she was able, though this rarely happened. Most times, the tokens simply ended up as things for the children to remember their mothers by.  I have visited the museum which houses many more of these tokens, and I was so moved and struck by the simplicity of each item, probably something near and to hand. It felt like these tokens communicated love, a mother's love, even in the midst of unimaginable heartache.

Tokens, little things that represent love, are so important, even in the undramatic everyday living. What things can we use to communicate love? I don't mean grand gestures, I mean in the little things. Sometimes, (if I am organised and think ahead), I put a little 'love token' in my daughters' lunchboxes. A little heart shaped cookie with a little note attached with pretty ribbon, telling them how much I love them and how wonderful they are. I like to think that they have a moment in the middle of the school day to be reminded that they are loved and precious to someone.

Writing this made me think of my own mother and the things that remind me of her. Thankfully she is still very much with us and such a blessing and I am grateful for her everyday. But I write this also with the knowledge that some of my dear friends have lost their mothers and it is still so painful...They are left now with precious memories, love tokens that their mothers left them.
 My mum's cooking will be central in my memories of her, particularly her Jellof rice, which I have never been able to recreate in the same way, also her groundnut stew, which is still talked about by my hubby's family, for whom she cooked it. More recently, my mum comes over to mine once a week to teach my girls piano and we have lunch together before they get in from school. 
Simple meals.. the simple things that communicate love...

This meal of bread and vegetables brings to mind one of my favourite proverbs. 

"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted calf with hatred".

The Healing Power of Cake.

My 11 year old daughter has just started secondary school and each day, with a huge amount of trepidation on my part, she takes the bus on her own to school. So I was actually quite relieved when she was off school a couple of days ago with a sore throat and temperature as this was an opportunity to have her at home all day and not have to worry about a thing, because rather selfishly perhaps, I still need to feel like she's my little girl who needs her Mummy.
So as I was making her favourite cold remedy hot drink with freshly squeezed lemon, grated ginger and loads of honey, I thought it would be a great idea to put all of those ingredients into a cake. What could be better than having a sweet treat and also feeling like it's doing you some good at the same time.

The cakes turned out really well. I decided on heart shaped mini cakes, because when you're feeling unwell, not only do you need a healing treat, you also need to know that you are loved.

Here is the recipe: (I decided on a basic sponge recipe, but substituted some of the sugar with honey, and added the fresh lemon and grated ginger also.)
8 oz butter
4 oz caster sugar
2 or 3 tablespoons of honey( depending on how sweet you like things..)
4 eggs
Juice and zest of one and a half lemons (or one large lemon perhaps)
Fresh ginger (about thumbsize), peeled and grated. (you could use a bit more than that if you like a really strong ginger hit.)
One teaspoon ground ginger
8 oz self-raising flour. (maybe you could add half a teaspoon of baking powder also, because my cakes didn't really rise that well.)

Well I guess as for instructions, just mix the whole lot together, in the way that you would for any other cake, and stick it in the oven, in a cake tin, or individual ones, and bake for about half an hour at 180 degrees C.
For the topping, I used buttercream with lemon juice and zest.

Anyway, here are some more photos of my marvellous and delicious healing cakes. They worked, a little too well I should say, because she was back at school the next day and I'm back to being a nervous wreck!