Sunday musings.

OK so it's Sunday and I haven't written anything here for a while. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say and sometimes it feels like there's too much to say and no coherent way to say it...

I would like to write about sitting in the park making crotchet flowers, and how feeling unwell sometimes can be a blessing in disguise because it makes me stop and practise simplicity. I'd like to write about how practising gratitude has made my eyes shine brighter.

I'd like to write about how even at my age, I still have brain freeze whenever someone asks me what I do, and I sometimes wonder if I'd find it easier if they were to ask me who I am instead. Would it be easier to be defined by who we are, rather than what we do, or should we even be defined at all?

I'd like to write about my recent acquisition of a sewing machine and how excited I am about learning to sew, even though I spend a lot of time looking at the sewing machine and it looks right back at me. I think it looks friendly enough so I shall give it a go. I am especially excited about the 12 week sewing course I have signed up to.

To end, I shall write about my lovely knitted chicks, and how happy they still make me even though Easter seems a long time ago now. They remind me that it's spring and that it's possible for dreams to come true, even the littlest ones. I always wanted to learn to knit pretty things, and now I can.

Hey Pretty Birds!

 Since Christmas, my preoccupation with birds has continued. Just wanted to share some of my birdie artwork so far...

I love birds, they symbolise so much, and are often representative of the prayers of my heart.

A page from my Art Journal.

Beginnings of a bird painting.

Painting in progress....

More progress....morphing into a diva bird..

The finished Diva bird!

Our Daily Bread... The joys of making your own.

I decided recently to stop buying bread from the supermarket and to make our own. It was working quite well, courtesy of our bread maker machine but then it decided that the new regime of baking bread everyday was far too much for its over 10 year old frame and it gave up the ghost. Determined to stick to my resolve to make as much of what we consume myself, I resorted to making bread by hand.

I love it! (Except when I discover just before bedtime, that there is no bread for the morning and the girls' school lunchboxes). I mean I had to get used to the fact that it's a bit more time consuming than just sticking all the ingredients into the bread maker and pressing start, but for the most part, I am really enjoying baking our own bread. I like to think that I am walking on the well trodden path of generations of mothers who, working with their hands, made food for their families. Making their daily bread.

My older daughter has also learnt to make bread, and one of her 'duties' in our household is to help with making the bread for our family. She has said she would like to have a bakery when she is older, so we figured a good way to test this desire is to get her to be in charge of the bread.

 She was recently given a sourdough starter by a friend, as a present for her twelfth birthday, and we are now discovering the joys of sourdough bread. It's wonderful stuff! It requires loads of patience and you do need to plan ahead, because it takes much longer to ferment and so on, but it's really delicious and I find it much kinder to the stomach than ordinary bread. I use this recipe.

 Sourdough bread.

Wholewheat and Rye bread.

There's something about the rhythm of making bread that is really good for the soul, and all that dough kneading is a very good stress reliever. I would heartily recommend it. 

xxx

 

Fear and a prayer to the sea.

I spent the last two weeks feeling very afraid. I was waiting for the results of a scary blood test, and I wasn't sure what the outcome would be. Anyway the test came back fine and I haven't got a new health challenge added to the one I'm already dealing with. That's a relief.

Fear is funny the way it gets in your bones and takes up residence and then it's difficult to get rid of it. I still have fear in my heart today, even though I have significantly less reason to be afraid than I did two weeks ago.  But then I probably shouldn't have been afraid at all, because we don't always see the true reality of things of anyway. Does this sound like a pickle? It feels like a pickle. I've been having a pickly few days in all their pickly, prickly, self-doubting glory.

So here is a song I wrote a few months ago.
It's a song for a pickly, prickly day when it feels like the storms won't pass.
It's called a 'Prayer to the Sea'.

xxxxx

Around here lately...

One of my New Year resolutions this year was to learn lots of crafts. I just thought it might be a nice thing to do, especially with my girls. What I hadn't expected was how much joy this would bring and how much more wonderful and soulful life is.

In the last month ...

We've been learning to knit.....
I've always wanted to learn to knit and I'm so glad I am finally doing something about it. I've signed up for a weekly knitting class over the course of 9 weeks, and I'm loving it! What has been really great is that the girls have caught the bug too, and my mum has been teaching them, which is especially wonderful because my mum's grandmother taught her to knit, and now my mum is doing the same for her granddaughters, ..and so the cycle continues.

My daughter with her Nana!

We've been making natural beauty products.....
The girls and I went along to a natural cosmetics workshop run by my beautiful friend Zoe and The Golden Co., a wonderful enterprise for young people based in East London. We had a go at making lip balms and wonderfully scented lavender and lemon salt scrubs, using honey from the local bees.

We were so inspired we've decided to try to make most of the beauty products we use at home.  Here are some photos of our whipped Shea body butter.  We use this on our skin and it is so lovely, we also use it for our hair. I found the recipe for this here.

Gorgeousness in a tub!

I made soap!....
I had a go at making soap!! I tried the cold process method of soap making. I was very nervous about it, because soap making can be quite hazardous and I would strongly recommend that you read up on all the safety precautions, especially with using lye (caustic soda) before having a go. Even better would be to attend a class with an expert. Anyway whilst the girls were at school, I made a batch of Shea and Almond soap. I can't believe it worked! At least it looks like soap, although I have to let it cure for 4 weeks before I can actually use it. (watch this space!) What has been so precious about beginning to learn this skill is that my father was a soap maker before his death many years ago. I remember as a young girl being around the factory that he ran, and being fascinated with the huge vats of soap, and the smells etc. Although on a miniscule scale, making soap in my kitchen made me feel close to my dad. He was probably shaking his head and laughing at how terrified I was!

I've been basket making...
Last weekend, I braved the motorway and drove to Oxfordshire for a day of basket weaving at the Earth Trust.  I really loved it, and it was so lovely to leave the city centre and be in the countryside. I found it quite tricky to grasp the technique, and it requires patience and a willingness not to be perfectionist, but I shall stick with it. I didn't finish my basket, but I came home with a load of willow to finish it in my own time. It will be interesting trying to weave the very long sticks of willow in our small flat!

The beginnings of my basket.

I find that lately I've been wanting to simplify our life a lot more. I think it's something to do with practising these simple crafts. Life seems less complicated somehow and I find that I'm not as restless as I usually am. So here's to more learning and discovering.
Much love. xxx

A day in the life of...

I was thinking today about how sometimes I have an insatiable curiosity about how different women spend their day. I mean like burning curiosity about the little details, like meal preparation or the best cleaner to use for floors or something. One of the things I miss most about my friend Leia who passed away almost two years ago, is that we would speak on the phone regularly for about an hour at a time and sometimes we would discuss meals we'd made recently or even the recent acquisition of a steam cleaner. One of the last conversations I had with her was about the Christmas dinner she had managed to make for her family even though she was at that time very ill. She told me step by step what she'd done, (and how putting bay leaves in 'pigs in blankets' had been a disaster!)  I so enjoyed that conversation...

I was chatting to a friend on the phone today who I hadn't spoken to in a while and everything in me wanted to ask her what soups she'd made recently and I desperately wanted her to talk me through her day, but I feared that the urgency with which I would inevitably ask would cause her to think I was a bit strange, so I made small talk instead.

So where does this curiosity/hunger in me come from? I think it is borne of a desire to be in community. It is a childlike curiosity about the mundane things, the way we were as children when we would watch our mothers apply makeup or cook a meal. My daughters do the same now. We as women learn from each other and I think we are affirmed and reassured by watching and learning from each other.

So here is what I did today in all its glorious mundanity:

Woke up and got kids ready for school.
After the school run, (which hubby did because I am still recovering from the flu), I tidied the flat which took ages, and I put away the last remnants of the Christmassy stuff. I was too ill to do that last week.
I rearranged the lounge by asking hubby to move the sofa and we created a workspace by the window using a large folding table.  Although this now means that now we can hardly come in through the door to the lounge, you almost have to come in sideways (the joys of city centre box living), and we had to move the piano keyboard into our bedroom, I am so glad to have this lovely new workspace. It means that I can have continuity with a project and not have to clear everything up so we can have dinner. I used to previously do art at the kitchen table, which was really frustrating. I am currently working on illustrating a story that I wrote for the son of a friend of mine. It was really lovely to get back to doing art today, especially as I was feeling low this morning due to the disappointment of having to cancel my involvement in a new schools music project starting today. (I have had a relapse of a chronic kidney condition as a result of the flu, so I need to put my health first, though I really could have done with the money! So for the moment, it's back to taking one day at a time, which is no bad thing at all.)

 (Apologies for the dark photos, the weather was really gloomy and there wasn't much light.)
 

I've been persuaded by the girls not to get rid of our Christmas branches this year. They want to keep them up throughout the year and decorate them with each changing season. In the spring we will make blossom from tissue paper to decorate the branches with.  In the meantime the branches are home to our new clock and my pink flower lights.

 

 

My daughter came home from school and was thrilled with this new workspace, because it means she can do art too!

I made a coffee and walnut cake to celebrate both girls' return to school. They were off all last week with the flu too. This is their favourite cake. The rather large wodge of cake was eaten by my daughter when she got in from school.

For dinner, we had Carrot and Coriander soup which I made yesterday, along with this bread brick, courtesy of my bread maker.  It tastes really good though, I used Spelt flour with a little bit of strong white bread flour.

Today I've been drinking Cinnamon and honey tea, with grated ginger and squeezed lemon. I figure that a bug this nasty needs all known remedies thrown at it.

At bedtime, I have started reading stories to the girls again. Even though they are 11 and 9 years old, I figured it's still lovely to be read to, and they really like it. In a world where children grow up way too fast, I am happy to keep this routine going for as long as possible. We are currently reading 'The Magic Faraway Tree' by Enid Blyton, and "Anne of Green Gables", by L.M Montgomery.

Well that's about it. 

I wonder what would happen if we started saying to our friends, "How do you do life?", "Can I come and hang out with you one day, to learn from you and see how you do life?"

Would that be strange? It might be I suppose, but it also might lead to a greater sense of community with each other.

xxx

A Song for the New Year.

So here is a recording of a song I wrote today. It's very apt for the New Year. I don't want to run or hide anymore from the things that are in my heart to do. I want to practise generosity and that involves stepping out of my comfort zone and being more willing to share the things that I create. So this is a song I wrote to myself but I wanted to share it anyway. Enjoy! Here's to us all singing the songs that have been waiting to be sung, and telling the stories that have been waiting to be told.
Much love,
Ayozie  xxxx