Journalings...

Art journaling... Haven't done it for a while, but have begun again.. I like it!

It's a great way of becoming unstuck with creativity and in all sorts of other ways. It's a great way of playing with paint, glue, paper cut outs and all the other things that kids love. It's also nice to know that there is no right or wrong, because the finished product is whatever you want it to be on any given day.

My oldest daughter turned 11 recently and we've been talking about girly things and coming of age things. I thought it would be nice to work on an art journal with her, something she could look back on when she's all grown. So last Sunday, I sent her to the shops on her own (eek!! her first ever outing on her own!) to choose and purchase a journal that she liked. She came home with a beautiful one covered in butterflies, and we have been creating ever since.  The idea is that she makes pages of her own and I also make pages and add to the journal.

This one is a journal entry I made using a photo of when she was about one and a half, she's so cute!

This is another page I made using a photo of her, paint stencilling and cut out butterflies. I love this one because it really celebrates her personality. She truly is like a butterfly, free spirited and bringing beauty into every life that she touches..

 

Another creative idea I've had, is to have a 'family theme of the month'. We wrote lots of ideas like love, joy, peace, honour, patience, etc, on bits of paper and put them in hat, (a red sparkly one of course). The idea is that each month we pick a theme out of the hat and create art, write, make music, think about, that theme for the whole month. The theme this month is joy, and it's been so wonderful to see the children make time most days to create art. My eight year old daughter made these pictures based on the theme of joy..

I love this picture. My daughter explained that there is a girl (far right of the picture), who has created a world of colour (and butterflies!) around her.

Joyous swirls! I love the simplicity of this one.

For me joy is not the absence of sorrow. It is much deeper than that. As I write this, I have sorrow in my heart , a dear uncle of mine passed away a few days ago, and as a family we feel sad. Yet our theme of the month is Joy.

Perhaps joy and sorrow walk either side of a very fine line.

Much love, and here's to more creativity - joy and journaling! xx

Easter: Chocolate or Change?

So it's the season of new beginnings. The trees flower with the beautiful colours of spring and Christians celebrate the resurrection of Christ. It absurdly also seems to be the season of chocolate in all its forms, chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies, chocolate nests with chocolate eggs in, and so on. 

Then there's the Easter Bunny. What's that all about? The kids were asking if the Easter Bunny would be visiting and I told them outright that it isn't real. I figured things were complicated enough with trying to keep the Santa myth going for as long as possible.  (Hubby was busted on Christmas Eve because he was too noisy whilst filling the stockings and my eight year old woke up and saw him. But she somehow still believes because 'Santa' wrote her a letter in Norwegian and Daddy doesn't speak Norwegian, so Santa must be real. Thank goodness for google translate!)

So what are we to take from all this? The resurrection, spring blossoming and chocolate?

I really do get overwhelmed sometimes with the details of life, with my perception of everyone's expectations, most often imagined rather than real. I feel like I can't do it all, it's impossible to please everyone all of the time. I need to learn that it's a waste of energy to even try. How can this Easter time give me hope that things can be different? that it's possible to have peace within, secure in the knowledge that I am generally OK just as I am. Of course there's always room for improvement, but there's something beautiful in the realisation that I don't have to prove myself, or earn love and acceptance.

So what can I do? I guess I have a couple of options. The first one could be to stuff my face with chocolate, but I don't think this would help. Too much chocolate makes me feel ill, I get all headachey and very windy, (the less said about that the better!)  So I don't think this would be the friendly or sensible option.

Secondly, I could actually make a decision to change. I've recently started reading a book which I purchased from my local Quaker bookshop called "Crossing the Desert, learning to let go, see clearly and live simply" by Robert J.Wicks. It's about learning from some fourth-century monks and nuns who spent time in the desert; about what they learnt and discovered:

"So, in the desert, an opportunity to gain a new perspective and a unique appreciation for what is truly important is joined by a radically different sense of what relationship, hospitality, and compassion should mean in our lives. Is it any wonder then, that the desert would be an ideal metaphor for the challenging times in life to remind us of the need to let go of all that is incomplete and unnecessary in us?"

Robert J. Wicks.

I often feel like I'm having some sort of desert experience, with lost bearings and an unquenchable thirst for fulfilment. But I think this is because I sometimes forget to measure my life by the things which have actual value, in fact they are invaluable: My beautiful children who bring me untold joy and constantly hold up a mirror to show what is real and precious, my 'Mr Man', the unconditional love of my family and friends, the simple things that make me smile...
Easter for me, is about death and resurrection. I want to put to death the things in me which cause me to stray from the truth of what is really important. I want true sight to be resurrected in me. It's there somewhere, milling about behind my eyes.

So this Easter time, I wish you renewed hope, sharpened vision and an increased lung capacity to breathe the clear air of truth. With very much love, always,
Ayozie xxx

Spring is in the air! ...

So it's that time of year again. When you hear the birds chirp chirping and the days grow slightly longer. As soon as the daffodils and blossoms make their appearance, I get that familiar sensation of feeling restless and with ants in my pants. It's funny, the pile of stuff waiting to be sorted through since Christmas, suddenly seems intolerable and I just have to sort it all out. Spring always feels like a season of new beginnings, and I am always filled with optimism.

 

 I made these spring-inspired cupcakes for the cake sale at my daughter's school. They turned out quite nice. Here they are! I was quite pleased with them.

Enjoy this new season. 

May the lighter days fill your hearts with hope. Much love. xx

Change,..the good, the bad and the ugly.

I haven't written on here for a while. I kinda didn't feel I had much to say, or maybe I kind of did, but didn't know how to say it. But anyway here I am, still unsure what to say but hoping something coherent will present itself.

So here we are, already into the 2nd month of 2012. I remember the feeling on New Year's Eve, at a really beautiful party, surrounded by friends and family, counting down to the New Year. I didn't feel particularly excited, I actually wanted to cling on the last few seconds of 2011, because at least it was known. I really don't like change. I really don't like the feeling that comes with the unknown. I'm not a 'jump in and see what happens' kind of girl, and yet life is constantly filled with change, with the passing of time, one minute after the other, and there's nothing I can do to stop that. So perhaps I'd better learn to love change, embrace it and get all snuggly with it, because it isn't going anywhere.

If I'm honest, change always opens up an opportunity to learn something, sometimes brutally, especially where there has been pain, ill health, or perhaps the loss of a loved one.

Coming to terms with the ill health that comes sometimes with having failing kidneys, has taught me to take each day at a time. To be kinder to myself and realise that the reason I feel grumpy or overwhelmed some days is because I'm actually not feeling very well. I don't always have to suck it up and get on with things. There is value in simply waiting for it to pass, and to allow myself to rest, or just be.  I am learning to let go of the self imposed expectation to be perfect, to have everything sorted, because it simply isn't possible. It makes the good days, of which there are many, all the sweeter.

My daughter broke her leg really badly last week and it really was quite stressful. Thank God she is on the mend now after needing to have surgery. Even though I really wouldn't have chosen for that to happen, because it caused her a great deal of pain, I am actually grateful now for the time I am spending with her without the busy routine of school, after school clubs, dance classes and various other things. I realised lying in the guestbed next to her on the children's ward, unable to sleep and filled with anxiety, that even though she is almost 11 now and growing into a beautiful young lady, it seems lots of things have changed, but not much has changed at all. She is still my precious baby.

Of course change comes in good, sweet tasting forms. The joy of a new birth, a new job, a holiday, a retreat (I'm planning on going on one soon), a newly acquired hobby. 

There are small, simple changes like changing the cushions on the sofa, or having a clearout, or redecorating the children's room, that bring refreshment and joy.

So here's to change! -the good, the bad and the ugly!. Even though I'm a month and a bit too late, I think I'm ready now for 2012!.

Christmas... Joy in Simplicity.

As soon as the first of December comes round, I have to try really hard not to give in to the customary Christmas frazzle. I usually want to rush around shopping frantically, worrying about how expensive everything is, making endless lists, basically chasing my tail until I get sick of the whole thing and resign myself to being grumpy and knackered and completely without Christmas cheer! Bah humbug!
So I've decided this time round to make time to enjoy the things I actually love.

Here are a few things that are giving me much joy this Christmas....

1. My Christmas tree made from branches spray painted white:

2. Candlelight:

 

3. Baking:

A couple of days ago, it was the winter fair at my children's school and I volunteered to bake some cakes and cookies for the cake stall.  I had a lot of fun in the kitchen, surrounded by wonderful smells. The girls were so excited and this made me very happy. 

Here are some Christmas biscuits I made!...

Most important of all,  there is joy in spending time with the ones you love.
Wishing you much joy this Christmas season. x

On the street where I live..."Suitcase Man"

There's a man who wanders the streets around where we live. I think he might be homeless, he walks around in corduroy trousers, pointy shoes and wears a hat on his head, and he always carries a suitcase. The kids and I fondly refer to him as 'suitcase man'. The special thing about suitcase man is that he is compelled to do a dance, some sort of step and shuffle, repeated several times, every time he comes across a manhole/drain cover on the street. I have watched in amazement as he almost got himself run over because he had to finish his dance on a manhole in the middle of the road, even though the traffic lights had changed!

So I got to wondering whether suitcase man had stumbled on something important about these manholes. So I decided to indulge my inner suitcase man and stop and pay homage to one every time I came across one. It turns out that once you open your eyes to look for a particular thing, you'll see hundreds of them where previously they had gone unnoticed. They are actually quite beautiful, they really are. I love the patterns on them and the fact that something so mundane and practical in its nature has had so much detail and craftsmanship lavished on it. Here are some photos, taken on my street:

 

I think suitcase man might be on to something. Whilst I wouldn't necessarily do a public step and shuffle, I think a thing of beauty should always be acknowledged in some way. Beauty can be found in the most unexpected places, and once we become accustomed to really 'seeing', there are a wealth of things that can enrich us.

I do love this time of year..

So it's autumn, (at least I think it is, it probably should be winter by now but the temperatures are all over the place), and it's only four weeks till Christmas! Maybe because I live in the centre of town, I've become a bit obsessed with photographing trees. I love the patterns and colours, I only wish I was a better photographer and had a better camera so I could do these beautiful trees justice.

I can't wait till the beginning of December,  when I have 'permission' to be all christmassy. In readiness, I have acquired some branches with which I intend to make an alternative christmas tree. I have decided not to get a tree this year. Our flat is too small, and last year I got depressed watching the tree slowly die in the corner of the living room, despite my obsessive watering and sprinkling.
So this year, I will stick the branches in a pot and paint them white and hang baubles and things off it. (Not sure the kids are totally convinced about this idea, they didn't seem that keen when I mentioned it..) Anyways, watch this space. In the meantime, here are my magnificent branches!...(I should point out that I didn't just go out and chop them off a tree, they came from a tree that had already been cut back, and the branches were on the ground, ready to be disposed off, so I guess I'm doing my bit for recycling..)

 

Admittedly I got a bit carried away, and they are rather large, and the whole thing looks a bit stark at the moment, but let's see how it works out (and let's hope no one pokes their eyes out on the thing!) I was going to wind white wool round it rather than paint it but I suspect it would take me too long.

Trees shedding their leaves in autumn is really beautiful and in the starkness of winter, the trees replenish themselves, ready for spring. It makes me wonder about the beauty that is to be found in simplicity, in the simple things. Is it possible to celebrate Christmas simply? My intention is to make lots of gifts rather than buy them, but I hope I am able to do this, rather than leave it all too late and end up dashing round like a crazed woman doing last minute shopping like I usually do.