Spring is in the air! ...

So it's that time of year again. When you hear the birds chirp chirping and the days grow slightly longer. As soon as the daffodils and blossoms make their appearance, I get that familiar sensation of feeling restless and with ants in my pants. It's funny, the pile of stuff waiting to be sorted through since Christmas, suddenly seems intolerable and I just have to sort it all out. Spring always feels like a season of new beginnings, and I am always filled with optimism.

 

 I made these spring-inspired cupcakes for the cake sale at my daughter's school. They turned out quite nice. Here they are! I was quite pleased with them.

Enjoy this new season. 

May the lighter days fill your hearts with hope. Much love. xx

Change,..the good, the bad and the ugly.

I haven't written on here for a while. I kinda didn't feel I had much to say, or maybe I kind of did, but didn't know how to say it. But anyway here I am, still unsure what to say but hoping something coherent will present itself.

So here we are, already into the 2nd month of 2012. I remember the feeling on New Year's Eve, at a really beautiful party, surrounded by friends and family, counting down to the New Year. I didn't feel particularly excited, I actually wanted to cling on the last few seconds of 2011, because at least it was known. I really don't like change. I really don't like the feeling that comes with the unknown. I'm not a 'jump in and see what happens' kind of girl, and yet life is constantly filled with change, with the passing of time, one minute after the other, and there's nothing I can do to stop that. So perhaps I'd better learn to love change, embrace it and get all snuggly with it, because it isn't going anywhere.

If I'm honest, change always opens up an opportunity to learn something, sometimes brutally, especially where there has been pain, ill health, or perhaps the loss of a loved one.

Coming to terms with the ill health that comes sometimes with having failing kidneys, has taught me to take each day at a time. To be kinder to myself and realise that the reason I feel grumpy or overwhelmed some days is because I'm actually not feeling very well. I don't always have to suck it up and get on with things. There is value in simply waiting for it to pass, and to allow myself to rest, or just be.  I am learning to let go of the self imposed expectation to be perfect, to have everything sorted, because it simply isn't possible. It makes the good days, of which there are many, all the sweeter.

My daughter broke her leg really badly last week and it really was quite stressful. Thank God she is on the mend now after needing to have surgery. Even though I really wouldn't have chosen for that to happen, because it caused her a great deal of pain, I am actually grateful now for the time I am spending with her without the busy routine of school, after school clubs, dance classes and various other things. I realised lying in the guestbed next to her on the children's ward, unable to sleep and filled with anxiety, that even though she is almost 11 now and growing into a beautiful young lady, it seems lots of things have changed, but not much has changed at all. She is still my precious baby.

Of course change comes in good, sweet tasting forms. The joy of a new birth, a new job, a holiday, a retreat (I'm planning on going on one soon), a newly acquired hobby. 

There are small, simple changes like changing the cushions on the sofa, or having a clearout, or redecorating the children's room, that bring refreshment and joy.

So here's to change! -the good, the bad and the ugly!. Even though I'm a month and a bit too late, I think I'm ready now for 2012!.

Christmas... Joy in Simplicity.

As soon as the first of December comes round, I have to try really hard not to give in to the customary Christmas frazzle. I usually want to rush around shopping frantically, worrying about how expensive everything is, making endless lists, basically chasing my tail until I get sick of the whole thing and resign myself to being grumpy and knackered and completely without Christmas cheer! Bah humbug!
So I've decided this time round to make time to enjoy the things I actually love.

Here are a few things that are giving me much joy this Christmas....

1. My Christmas tree made from branches spray painted white:

2. Candlelight:

 

3. Baking:

A couple of days ago, it was the winter fair at my children's school and I volunteered to bake some cakes and cookies for the cake stall.  I had a lot of fun in the kitchen, surrounded by wonderful smells. The girls were so excited and this made me very happy. 

Here are some Christmas biscuits I made!...

Most important of all,  there is joy in spending time with the ones you love.
Wishing you much joy this Christmas season. x

On the street where I live..."Suitcase Man"

There's a man who wanders the streets around where we live. I think he might be homeless, he walks around in corduroy trousers, pointy shoes and wears a hat on his head, and he always carries a suitcase. The kids and I fondly refer to him as 'suitcase man'. The special thing about suitcase man is that he is compelled to do a dance, some sort of step and shuffle, repeated several times, every time he comes across a manhole/drain cover on the street. I have watched in amazement as he almost got himself run over because he had to finish his dance on a manhole in the middle of the road, even though the traffic lights had changed!

So I got to wondering whether suitcase man had stumbled on something important about these manholes. So I decided to indulge my inner suitcase man and stop and pay homage to one every time I came across one. It turns out that once you open your eyes to look for a particular thing, you'll see hundreds of them where previously they had gone unnoticed. They are actually quite beautiful, they really are. I love the patterns on them and the fact that something so mundane and practical in its nature has had so much detail and craftsmanship lavished on it. Here are some photos, taken on my street:

 

I think suitcase man might be on to something. Whilst I wouldn't necessarily do a public step and shuffle, I think a thing of beauty should always be acknowledged in some way. Beauty can be found in the most unexpected places, and once we become accustomed to really 'seeing', there are a wealth of things that can enrich us.

I do love this time of year..

So it's autumn, (at least I think it is, it probably should be winter by now but the temperatures are all over the place), and it's only four weeks till Christmas! Maybe because I live in the centre of town, I've become a bit obsessed with photographing trees. I love the patterns and colours, I only wish I was a better photographer and had a better camera so I could do these beautiful trees justice.

I can't wait till the beginning of December,  when I have 'permission' to be all christmassy. In readiness, I have acquired some branches with which I intend to make an alternative christmas tree. I have decided not to get a tree this year. Our flat is too small, and last year I got depressed watching the tree slowly die in the corner of the living room, despite my obsessive watering and sprinkling.
So this year, I will stick the branches in a pot and paint them white and hang baubles and things off it. (Not sure the kids are totally convinced about this idea, they didn't seem that keen when I mentioned it..) Anyways, watch this space. In the meantime, here are my magnificent branches!...(I should point out that I didn't just go out and chop them off a tree, they came from a tree that had already been cut back, and the branches were on the ground, ready to be disposed off, so I guess I'm doing my bit for recycling..)

 

Admittedly I got a bit carried away, and they are rather large, and the whole thing looks a bit stark at the moment, but let's see how it works out (and let's hope no one pokes their eyes out on the thing!) I was going to wind white wool round it rather than paint it but I suspect it would take me too long.

Trees shedding their leaves in autumn is really beautiful and in the starkness of winter, the trees replenish themselves, ready for spring. It makes me wonder about the beauty that is to be found in simplicity, in the simple things. Is it possible to celebrate Christmas simply? My intention is to make lots of gifts rather than buy them, but I hope I am able to do this, rather than leave it all too late and end up dashing round like a crazed woman doing last minute shopping like I usually do.

Art as thanksgiving.

Last week I went to see an art exhibition at the Wellcome Collection called 'Mexican Miracle Paintings'. I loved it! Basically the exhibition consists of about a hundred small paintings commissioned by various people to give thanks to a particular saint for a miracle in their lives. Each painting was accompanied by the story which preceded it. I was struck by the simplicity of it all and how each work of art has its own very unique story.
Here are a few examples. (You can see more of these on the Wellcome Collection website or if you can, do go and see the exhibition, it's on until February of next year I think and I would heartily recommend it. I left feeling very uplifted and some of the pictures actually made me giggle!)



"On 7 May of the year 1904, Sr Elias Chavarría was working with electricity cables when he suddenly fell and was on the point of death, but by invoking the Holy Virgin of Solitude of Santa Cruz he was saved, and in gratitude and thanks he dedicates the present retablo."
















I like this one about being rescued from a storm.

"On 2 March 1840, Doña Gertrudis Castañeda, having set sail, was caught in a furious storm at sea and in such a terrible predicament she invoked the Virgin of Soledad of Santa Cruz and in finding safety she dedicates this retablo."








The story of this one is quite remarkable! 

"In the R. de Pastores in 1917, Roman Camargo twice found himself in great danger of dying, first hanged and then executed. After they had released him from the hook and he landed almost dead, he knelt for the firing squad to shoot him. His mother invoked the miraculous Saint Nicholas and he was immediately released."

  






So when I got home, I got to thinking. Each work of 'art' in our lives has its own story. Every cake I've baked for someone has a story, perhaps of my own need to communicate love or in celebration of someone's life or the passage of time. I baked a cake for my friend for her birthday a few weeks before she died. We knew at that point that she was dying, after a long battle with cancer. It was a beautiful cake (I was in a state at the time so didn't get to take a photo!). It was a chocolate cake in three layers with vanilla buttercream in between each layer. The whole cake was covered in white fondant icing. The top was covered in white sparkly sugar roses, and on the sides were sugar pearls and white sugar blossoms, with white organza ribbon tied round it. I baked this cake with so much love, overwhelming sorrow and a terrible anxiety that I wouldn't get there on time. I needed to communicate in some way other than with words how much I loved her, how much I was thankful for her, even in the pain of knowing we would lose her. I am still thankful for my friend, now more than ever.

The same applies to every song, painting, gesture of love. I love the fact that we tell stories through our creations. We as a society put a lot of emphasis on the finished product. We like things polished and done and dusted. But the finished product is only a part of the story. I am much more interested sometimes in the stories behind a created thing. I think that's why I loved that exhibition so much.

So, in thanksgiving for each other, myself, hubby and two girls decided to make a painting using our handprints.

  
I love the fact that the canvas ripped in the corner by accident, because it shows that in some things there is a bit of brokenness and I'm thankful for that, because it makes our hearts all the softer. 
 

Out of the mouth of babes...the joy of discovery.

My seven year old daughter said to me a few weeks ago that she'd written a new song. So I asked to hear it, and she started to sing the most wonderful song, accompanying herself on the piano. Some of the lyrics went like this:

"The world's in your hands, this is the hour
No time to run, no time to hide, it's the hour
No time to shout, no time to cry, it's the hour
The world's in your hands, this is the hour...."

I briefly wondered if perhaps she'd had some kind of angelic vision warning of an imminent apocalypse, or some other dramatic inspiration, but when I asked her what the song was about, she simply said that it was about not wasting time on things that are not important.
Every morning she wakes up between 5 and 6am, bright and sparky, and gets on with her mini projects for which she's completely self motivated, before she gets ready for school.
She's writing a story at the moment about a purple dolphin, and sometimes she spends the time working on the illustrations for this, or she practises guitar or piano, or works on her songs. Sometimes she reads a book on a subject that interests her, the current preoccupation is with volcanoes, earthquakes and the solar system, or sometimes she spends time 'making' as she calls it. I'm constantly finding various mini installations round the flat and have to try very hard not to tidy them away.
I'm going on a bit I'm sure, because like every parent, I've got a bit carried away talking about my beautiful child... But the point I'm trying to make is, my daughter knows the things that are important to her, they are the things which are in her heart to do, and she realises the importance of devoting time to the things that she loves doing, the things that feed her, the things she is curious about. It's about discovery. She got very excited when she discovered a new chord on the piano, (Ok I knew it was an E major chord) but to her, it was completely new and she thought it was magic.

This challenges me. I sometimes wish I had the eyes of a seven year old. The eyes of wonder, not cynicism, the commitment to the things that I love doing, simply for the love of it, without worrying about outcomes or people's opinions, or whether I might earn a quid or two.

I walked past a man on Tuesday, lying on the pavement doing something really intriguing with a blowtorch, paint brushes and some paint. I really really wanted to ask him what he was doing, it was so detailed, it didn't look like very much at all, but I was too shy to, (I was also worried he might be a nutcase!) On my way back, he'd gone but on the pavement was a small blob of chewing gum with really intricate artwork on it!! Someone told me that this man goes around making miniature works of art on dried up chewing gum on the pavements.
Wow! how on earth did he make this discovery? He is willing to lie on dirty central London pavements for the sake of his art. It's certainly not for recognition I don't think, (though he is actually very well known, I googled 'chewing gum artist' and his name is Ben Wilson), but most of his work is probably trampled underfoot. This man does it because he wants to, perhaps he needs to. I have since found a couple more of his wonderful creations on the same pavement. Here are some photos of his work, (helpfully photographed by hubby on his camera phone on Tottenham St),

Chewing gum art by Ben Wilson.

Chewing gum art by Ben Wilson.

Chewing gum art by Ben Wilson.

 I guess my point is that it's in the staying faithful to the every day things that new discoveries are made. Moments of magic may be found in the sitting at the keyboard feeling uninspired but committed, or simply putting pen to paper even when there's nothing much to say or the mixing of paint even when the canvas looks too blank and unfriendly. It's about spending time on the things that matter, whatever that is.
So here's to more magic moments...